Look....this is how it is.

WHY

There is a good chance that no one other than myself with ever read this blog. However, if someone does - maybe this can be of help. I know that I read a lot of personal stories of addiction and recovery, while I was deep into my own. In fact, I almost found it to be fun. Sick, eh?

How Much Am I Taking?

This blog is going to be my drug, my warm blanket, my safety - over the next few weeks. By tommorrow, I will be in withdrawal.  I am preparing to experience pure hell, perhaps more than I ever have before. I have been on opiots since 2008. I suffer from a serious spinal deformity, and when I first caught a warm, fuzzy feeling from the pain medication I was prescibed (daily life started becoming difficult to do, without pain),

I will be living life opiate-free as of sometime tomorrow. I have been on opiates (and alcohol), since 2007/2008, beginning with 5mg Vicodin, and ending in Fentanyl patches, Oxycontin, and 10mg Methadone tablets (all prescribed by my pain Dr, who will be calling me in another #120 script of Vicodin on November 11th - but alas, 11/11 is too far away, and I have taken a month's worth of those pills in less than 10 days. Yes, you read that right. To most people, you 

I have been on Vicodin, followed by Percocet, Fentanyl, OxyContin, Methadone - for the past 2 years. I have never gone more than 18 hours without something in my system, since 2008. Today is October 21st, 20111. My 31st birthday is October 30th, 2011. Interesting factoid...I never used drugs until I hit 25 years old. In fact,  I had never even touched alchol until my 24th birthday. Boy, I sure did see to "make up" for time lost.....*disgust*.